Lord help me to hold out
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My name is Marilyn almost four years ago I was getting ready to married to a wonderful hard working man. We got married in August and December he had his first stroke. In April of the following year he had a second stroke on easter.
Both strokes hit on the same side of his brain. He has left sided weakness and dementia. I am thankful he can still get around pretty decent and can do some things for himself. This year he had to have stents placed in his heart and leg plus he has the beginning of a cataract in his eye. He sounds like a train wreck and to be honest he tries my patience. I have done my share of screaming and crying and praying praying and more praying. There is an song I sing at church called Lord help me to hold out this song is my anthem. Things are better than they were but I still have to pray for extra strength and patience.
Our personal relationship has suffered tremendously. There is a ten year age difference between us then there are physical problems that kill any type of intimacy between us. I love him but it is an different kind of love. I am honoring my marriage vows. It is not easy but I M sure there is a greater reward coming. With the help of my family, my church family and especially the help of the Lord I make it from day to day. He is not the man I married, he is completely different and I don't like some of the differences but I attempt to try to understand him and his situation. He has taught me that I am a strong woman mentally physically and spiritually.
In am a nurses aide at a hospital so it is round the clock care from my job to my home. I get tired and aggravated and feel unappreciated at times but then something sweet will happen like he may win something simply bat the daycare he attends playing bingo he gives the prize to me or he might say something nice out of the blue.
To everyone that is a caregiver do not forget to be good to yourself, we are all only human.
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